Tribute
by Michelle Birkby
Summary: Post-heroes. Six people gather to remember Janet
1. Default Chapter

It's so silent in that room. He's not used to that. Even in the quietest times he's spent here, there has always been at least a machine beeping, measuring out someone's life in carefully defined readings. Mostly, in here, there was noise, and frantic, scurried action. Equipment hastily used, voices, begging, pleading, saying goodbye, or a relieved welcome, footsteps, running or on tip-toe, the squeaky wheel of the trolley.  
  
And above it all, the voice of Janet Frasier. Janet, who never let anyone go gently into the good night, who fought and argued and defied death to keep them here, where they belonged.  
  
Janet, who'd died without a murmur. Who never had time to face her own death and fight it.  
  
Daniel hated the silence in that room.  
  
"I know you're in here."  
  
Daniel debated whether to ignore him. He knew he couldn't see him, crouching in the darkest corner of the room. Then, with a sigh, he realised, knowing Jack O'Neill, he wasn't going to go away. He stood up.  
  
"I bought supplies." Jack told him, holding up a bottle of Jack Daniels, and glasses.  
  
"I'm not sure Janet would approve of us drinking in here." Daniel told him, approaching the bed with his hands stuffed in his pockets. Jack put the glasses on the bed, and began to pour.  
  
"When you died," he told Daniel, ignoring his sudden frown, "Janet told Sam to go home, and get very drunk, just once. She said they could do it together, get very drunk and remember you, get all the emotion out. I think she'd approve of this."  
  
Jack held a glass out to Daniel, who took it.  
  
"And did she? Sam, I mean, did she get drunk?" Daniel asked. He hated the idea he'd caused Sam, or Janet pain.  
  
"Carter? No she just worked twice as hard, if that's possible. Janet too." The room was dark, and Jack's face was shadowed, as much by the lack of light as by the memory of Sam's grief.  
  
Jack held up his glass.  
  
"Janet." He said, as a toast.  
  
"Janet." Daniel replied, clinking his glass against Jack's. They both winced at the sudden rush of alcohol.  
  
"Where is Sam?" Daniel asked.  
  
"Changing out of her dress blues."  
  
Jack still wore his dress uniform, but he had removed the jacket. Daniel still wore the black shirt and pants he'd worn for the memorial service, half an hour ago, but he'd shed the jacket and tie. Once it was over he'd just wanted to get to the infirmary, specifically the room where he died. He'd spent a lot of time here recently. Somehow he felt that a part of her was still here, but that feeling was fading day after day.  
  
"And Teal'c?"  
  
"Kel-no-reeming or something." Jack said, sitting on the bed.  
  
"I thought he didn't do that anymore?"  
  
"Well, when you were a floaty white cloud, Teal'c claimed he could feel your presence when he kel-no-reemed. I think he's trying to find Janet." Jack swung his legs up, and pulled the top half of the bed up, so it supported his back.   
  
"Janet didn't ascend." Daniel said bitterly, knocking back the rest of his whisky. "Believe me, I know. I was there. I even checked the tape."  
  
"You've seen the tape?" Jack asked. Daniel nodded, unable to speak. He'd forced himself to watch it after Bregman had asked for it. At first he could hardly bear to see it, knowing what was coming. But then he had watched it again and again, hungry for Janet's last moments, one more second with her.  
  
"Yeah, me too." Jack said, pouring himself more whisky.  
  
"She should have ascended." Daniel said angrily. "Why didn't she? For God's sake, they took Skaara's entire village. Why not her? She deserved it a hell of a lot more. She should have ascended, and then..."  
  
"And then when she really pissed them off for interfering, which we both know she would have done, they'd have sent her back, like you?"  
  
"Are you saying they didn't ascend her to punish me for interfering?"  
  
"I don't know. I honestly don't know, Danny. But you're right, she deserved it." Jack drained his glass.  
  
"I miss her." Daniel said simply, after a moments silence. "I didn't realise...I mean, I still look for her. I never even knew I did that. I never knew..." Daniel didn't have the words anymore. He felt his throat thicken with more tears, again.  
  
"Never know what you've got till it's gone?" Jack asked softly.  
  
"You'd think I'd know better by now, wouldn't you?" Daniel asked, forcing a grim smile. 


	2. chapter two

"I also miss JanetFrasier." Teal'c said. No-one had seen him enter. Like Daniel, he'd removed his jacket, but was still wearing a tie. Jack silently offered him one of the glasses, but Teal'c shook his head.  
  
"Is SamanthaCarter quite all right?" he enquired.  
  
"She's changing." Jack told him. "But no, she's not ok. Won't be for a long while." He said, remembering the way she'd clung to him, her heartbreaking sobs.  
  
"She and Janet were really close. Like sisters." Daniel said, staring down at his glass.   
  
"You know, that used to worry me. I don't mean them being close, I mean, what did they talk about?" Jack said.  
  
"In what way, O'Neill?"  
  
"Well, I'd get my yearly physical off Janet. Then ten minutes later, her and Sam would be in a corner somewhere, heads together, giggling. Now I ask you, what was that all about?"  
  
"Dr Frasier would not have revealed any medical secrets" Teal'c said complacently. Obviously his physicals had not left him anything to be worried about.  
  
"You sure? I mean are you really really sure? We're talking best friends here. Women talk, you know?"  
  
"No, I do not know."  
  
"By the way." Daniel said, "Good speech, Teal'c."  
  
"I did not make a speech."  
  
"But you helped Carter write it." Jack told him, pouring himself a third glass of whisky, and another for the footsteps he could hear in the hall. "She told us."  
  
"I could not have said those words as well as MajorCarter. And it was fitting that she, as JanetFrasier's closest companion should speak."  
  
"Thanks for the help." Sam said. She stood in the doorway, back in fatigues. Her face was pale, her eyes bloodshot, but she was smiling.  
  
"Drink?" Jack said, holding out a full glass. She took it and downed it in one.  
  
"You might want to take the drinking a bit slower." Jack said, as she poured another one. "Or not." He continued, as she drained the glass again. She got up on the bed, and sat next to Jack, obviously a little woozy.  
  
"Have you eaten today?" Jack asked suspiciously. She shook her head. "Then you're going to get drunk very quickly." He told her.  
  
"Good." She replied, and wriggled until she was sitting close enough to Jack that her shoulder touched his. He tensed up a little inside, as he always did when she touched him, but he hid it well, as always, merely looking at her.  
  
"I was just remembering when Janet and I became really close" Sam said.  
  
"Tell us." Daniel asked, sitting on the end of the bed.  
  
"Well," she said, smiling slowly. "It was when Hathor came." Jack and Daniel groaned, and glanced at each other. Teal'c nodded approvingly. "She was really good at dealing with it, a lot better then me. I think she even enjoyed it. Seducing the guard, shooting people. I was impressed."  
  
"JanetFrasier would indeed have been a most formidable warrior, if she had not chosen to become a healer." Teal'c said, remembering the tiny little women throwing herself into the battle like she was ten feet tall. He'd respected her before that, but then he admired her.  
  
"But the real fun for us," Sam said, smiling mischievously, "was writing the reports afterwards. How to describe everything that had happened, and how everyone behaved, in strictly military and medical terms. We couldn't decide how to describe Daniel's state after Hathor had extracted his DNA."  
  
"Oh God." Daniel groaned.  
  
"Eventually she came up with the perfect phrase. Dr. Jackson was suffering from Post Coital Distress Syndrome."  
  
She laughed, and took another sip from her glass. Daniel buried his face in his hands.  
  
"Hey, we were drugged." Jack pointed out.  
  
"I resisted the drug." Teal'c pointed out. Sam raised her glass to him, and he inclined his head in reply.  
  
"And then she took Cassie." Sam said, her voice serious again. "I really wanted Cassie, but I knew it'd be impossible. I thought I'd lose her." Jack found himself slipping an arm round her, in comfort. "But when I bought Cassie back to the SGC, after the bomb hadn't gone off, Janet's face lit up. She practically cried in relief. I hadn't realised Janet loved her so much. And I knew it'd be ok. Cassie would still be around, and she'd have a really great mom, one who wasn't off-world all the time. We'd all be ok, and we'd all be together." She took another sip from her glass, as a heavy tear spilled. 


	3. chapter three

"How is Cassie?" Daniel asked.  
  
"Coping." Sam said. "A lot better then me, actually. Janet's parents are here, looking after her. She's going to university soon, and she'll spend half the holidays with them, and half with me. I am so amazed by her strength. This is the second time she's lost her mom. At least I only lost mine once.". Sam closed her eyes in pain, and rested back, on Jack's shoulder.  
  
"Okay." Jack said, trying to dispel the pall of grief hanging over the room. "Favourite Janet moments, let's see." He mused, trying not to think of how he really remembered Janet. All the times he'd bought Sam, or Daniel, or Teal'c in here, to this room, close to death, dying, and Janet had saved them. That would be his memory, Janet bent over Sam, dragging the life back into her body, fighting as hard as he had ever fought on the battlefield. He'd only ever trusted SG1's lives to her. Only felt that they were save, that he could finally hand over responsibility for them when he handed them over to Janet. He'd never trust anyone outside his team like that again. But now was not the time to mourn a loss, but celebrate a life.  
  
"Ok, the foothold situation?" he told them. "Major Davis and I managed to knock out the alien pretending to be Janet. And I had to undo her shirt, to find the alien disguise thingy." He said quickly, in response to Daniel's surprised glare. "and I kept saying to myself, as I unbuttoned her shirt, it's not the doc, it's an alien, only an alien, but I was also thinking that if she ever finds out I put a hand down her shirt, I'm a dead man. Well, I don't know how, but she found out."  
  
Sam giggled. Obviously she'd heard this story before, but from Janet's angle.  
  
"What did she do?" Daniel asked.  
  
"She told me, very sweetly," Jack told him, "that she understood I'd had to do it, and once was ok, as she had had her hand up my shirt and down my pants a number of times...in a purely medical way. But, if I did it again, then every shot I ever got from her, would be with a blunt needle. In the butt. A big blunt needle."  
  
Sam laughed, and Daniel smiled, and the mood lightened.  
  
"I remember..." Daniel started to say, but Jack interrupted,  
  
"Waking up in the infirmary so many times Janet was going to put a plaque above the bed? Daniel Jackson slept here, a lot?"  
  
"No." Daniel said, laughing. He could just imagine Janet saying that, exasperated. "I remember, when I had all those beings in my body, from that ship. It was only a few months ago. I was trapped inside, and I thought I'd never get control of my own body again, and I'd never fight through all these entities to the surface. I thought, I've only just come back, and now I'm going to die again. But there was one moment, just a few seconds, when I managed to break through, and she was there, Janet, right in front of me. I called her name, I reached out to her, and she tried to hold on to me, but I slipped back again, they pulled me away from her, all those people, but I knew it was ok. I knew if Janet was out there, I'd survive. And I knew she'd get me back, somehow. I held on, because I knew, with Janet on my side, I'd win. I'd live."   
  
The room was silent. All four were lost in their memories, the memories Daniel had stirred up. Of the face bent over their bed as they awoke. Being battered and sore, but knowing they were home and safe as soon as they saw her. The arms that reached out for them as they stumbled down the ramp. A friend laughing with her and her daughter. An alien feeling peace and belonging as she saved him. A friend - a loved one - looking back as he died and knowing he did not want to leave her.  
  
"Why are you all in here?"  
  
"Jonas?" Sam cried, reaching out to him, but by now too drunk to get up. He came over and gave her an enthusiastic kiss on the cheek, ignoring Jack's glare. Sam leaned back, her head resting on Jack's shoulder. She was aware, somewhere inside her, that this was inappropriate, but she could hear Janet saying 'to hell with the regs' and she decided to stay where she was.   
  
Daniel shook hands with Jonas, honestly pleased to see him, and handed him a drink.  
  
"I'm sorry I couldn't get away earlier, and make it to the service. I'm not actually supposed to be here now."  
  
"Thanks for coming." Daniel told him. "We appreciate it."  
  
"Well, I had to say goodbye. She was good to me. When you died, I thought she'd blame me, like others did." Jack shifted uncomfortably. "But she didn't. I liked her. You know, she was all tough and formal on the surface, but underneath it, she was sweet and gentle and understanding and..." Jonas trailed to a stop, aware the others were looking at him oddly. "I liked her." He finished lamely.  
  
"Your tribute does both her and you credit." Teal'c assured him. Jonas nodded, and drunk his whisky, but he was unused to alcohol, and he started to choke. Daniel was clapping him on the back as General Hammond walked in.  
  
He looked around. His primary team seemed to be drunk, apart from Teal'c. On base, while still on shift. There was an unauthorised alien choking in front of him, and two of his senior officers lying on the bed, one with her head nestling on the other's shoulder. If Kinsey could see this, he'd have the Stargate program shut down in minutes. Hammond knew what action had to take. 


	4. chapter four

"I bought my own glass." He said. Jack handed him the bottle. He poured himself a generous measure.  
  
"I was thinking about when Nirrti was here." He told them. "When Cassandra was ill. I remember Janet Frasier, this tiny figure standing in front of a god, with a gun in her hand, and there was no way she was backing down. Nothing on earth...or any where in the galaxy was going to stop her saving her little girl. I knew it was no good getting between her and Nirrti. She get through me to get to that bitch - excuse my language. Hell, if the Eighth Army got between Janet and Nirrti, she'd still have got through, if it meant saving her daughter. She was one hell of a woman."  
  
He drained his glass.  
  
"And I will forever treasure the moment she gave Anise a piece of her mind. In fact, I will treasure every second I spent with her. And now, if you folks will excuse me, I've got a base to run."  
  
He left. They all glanced around at each other, then at the empty bottle.  
  
"I have to go." Jonas said, glancing at his watch. "I'm not even supposed to be here. I'm so sorry." He said, hugging Sam quickly, before he too had gone.  
  
"I will Kel-no-reem." Teal'c announced.  
  
"Teal'c, she didn't..." Daniel tried to say, but Teal'c stopped him.  
  
"Nevertheless, I will try to find her, in repayment for all the times she has saved my friends and I." He bowed, and left.  
  
"I think she's asleep." Daniel said, looking at Sam, resting on Jack's shoulder, eyes closed.  
  
"I'll take her home." Jack said, waking her up enough to walk her to the door. "I know, I'll take a cab." He said, before Daniel could say anything.   
  
Daniel was alone again, in the room where he had died. He sat down, in the shadowy corner, where no-one could see him.  
  
"Janet?" he asked. There was no answer. "Janet? It's not fair. You brought me back so many times. All I'm asking is that you come back, just once. I've got something to tell you. Janet? I think I loved you. Janet, can you hear me? Please hear me."  
  
All he heard was silence. He hated the silence  
  
THE END 


End file.
